literature

on poems with direction and other things i cant do

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Published: Aug 31, 2015

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Literature Text

^{i could waste my time and yours making
unnecessary line
jumps and neglecting
punctuation and any
trace of consistency but
then you'd be bored and
I'd hate myself so
we'll skip the disgusting
informalities and
get to
the point

i love hard and maybe thats why i'm stupid because
my heart steals all the blood and air and my brain
is left to snatch at clots and
concerta
its an excuse there is no excuse for why I'm here why i write why
i talk and bitch i try to hide it mask it fake it smile and pull every
pretty word from between my teeth and under my gums and the creases on
my tongue to make you want me want to know me want to
stay and see what the hell happens
next because frankly i
dont know what happens next and i think
its pretty fucking
scary that i cant see myself alive past
30

i know what I'm doing no wait thats a lie i have an idea a notion its
a bad one but its all i have and if you were me
a rough draft is better than no story and i want
to tell a story but i have no middle or happy ending i have a headache start and
a disappointing end where the killer is exactly who you thought it was and
the guy gets the girl except its not me but she's sure as hell better than me and
who i am to be bitter over infected wounds he
gave me salt to sterilize I'm
the one who decided dirt was a better fix

but I'm not fixed yet and i won't be ever theres no
beauty in bruises on bulging wrist bones or scratches on shoulders or
painful wrecked hips this isn't something i want you to love i want you
to cringe and hate and maybe hide from
what I'm gonna show you i want you to
loathe and detest because there are monsters that you
cant see that i see there are
dogs with genocide smiles and cannibal eyes there are dogs here
there are dogs and they won't
leave me alone they won't leave they're the one thing
i wish would leave
beggars cant choose but you dont understand you dont quiver tasting death's lips and
thats the problem it loves the blood im too scared to spill the friend from hell and
thats the problem thats my problem I'm a problem
you cant fix

i never asked to be fixed i asked to understand i understand people but i understand too well and
when they feel understood they leave because as long as one
person on this shit planet
gets you nothing else matters as long as
one person can empathize you won't feel alone so
all these people walk in and tie gauze leashes to my throat and
they walk back out the revolving hospital
doors and drag me along and they forget but they drag
cause as long as my weight is at the end then
everything will be okay I'm the failsafe that no one needs but
they won't let go and yes I'm a dog ill
be your dog ill be a really damn good dog but
dont fucking choke me because
i have a million other leashes being pulled the other way and i have people
who might need to hear me breathing youre kind of hindering
my fucking purpose on this planet I'm a dog and i dont
bite but i die easily and you wouldn't
like dragging around a corpse its not good for
youre esteem knowing you murdered something

if you dont think I'm insane yet youre the first and look
I'm still on the same topic wow
maybe there is
direction in
this poem but
it doesn't matter because
he's happy without me and
i wasn't a good enough dog so sorry
ill go
dont worry
i dont expect any lost dog fliers}

^{this is a vent i am not asking to talk or open up okay I'm putting my feelings out there because i cant keep them pent up any longer or else I'm going to implode this is not made to offend anyone this is just me being honest because I'm tired of not getting to say how i feel}

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